Like Father Like Daughter

GOOD GRIEF…I thought it was over, but just like a cockroach coming out of the woodwork…here come’s my ex’s niece, thinking she has something to say about my life. She was like a gang member, doing a drive by this morning, dropping her incredibly long message, then blocking me. How cowardice of her. She was right about one thing…. I am posting her message, and multiple times if I feel like it. I guess she doesn’t like that, she says it makes me look “so stupid” but whatever. I guess she doesn’t know what blogs are for.  SO, let’s get started, shall we?

It started this morning when I noticed I had missed a phone call from an “Unknown Caller” at 10:06 am. Then I got another one at 10:07 am. I guess someone really wanted to speak to me, but I NORMALLY, as a rule, don’t answer these kinds of phone calls. So, I didn’t think anything of it. Then I briefly saw notification that I have a Facebook message. Someone I am not friends with is wanting to reach me. I click to see who, and it’s my daughters cousin, Jamie…remember her? From the previous post last week.

Apparently, the poor soul has been seething since last week and felt today was a good day for a drive by. I hear she’s “hormonal” but, she gets no slack from me. Jamie is talking about issues she knows nothing about. She’s butting in in a relationship she knew NOTHING about, but I’m going to set her straight in this post, not that she will see it, but that’s ok. She’s “hormonal” so she may find it.

Hi Jamie! It’s been nearly 24 years since I’ve heard from you, I can’t IMAGINE what you could have to say to me, but this should be fun. SO, you are writing to me about something that I put on my FaceBook wall ,about a beef I had with your dad. First of all, YOU and I aren’t friends, and neither are your dad and I for that matter. Secondly, out of the blue, your DAD responded to something I wrote 6 years ago, and I got a notification for his response. He KNEW my comment was written 6 yrs ago. He calls me out with bullshit, he will get checked. I actually didn’t call you out, since I wasn’t sure if the “-J” was meant as Jamie or if it was meant as “Jerry”. Who cares? You think I actually believe that you are aware of my post because you had a feeling that I would choose to do something like that? LMAO, What a CRACK up…I’m sure someone in your family told you to check it out. Unlike you, I don’t do drive-by posts or messages, like you seem to do, but if you contact me for no reason, you WILL hear back from me. I met you a few times when I was with your uncle, you know NOTHING about me, frankly, and you were a young girl. The only thing you know about me is probably what came from your mom or your uncle, mainly, and that was over 20 years ago. I am not sure what you’re talking about when you say “screen shot comments to post multiple times…” Multiple times part is what I am not getting. If you’re saying that the screen shots have the same thing in them, well, that’s just to show that I didn’t alter anything. It’s ok that you don’t understand. Hope it makes sense  now. There are plenty of friends in my “facebook audience” as you put it, that know who you and your family are. 

there are plenty who “Bother” as they know what I’ve been through with your uncle. My “facebook audience” (that really makes me laugh) couldn’t believe it and wondered what kind of man picks an argument with a woman over something that was written 6 years ago. What are you talking about, self validation and desperate need for attention? What do I need validation of? I certainly don’t need validation from Jerry, silly little girl, LOL. Yes, when someone attacks me for no reason, I do like calling them on the carpet. Like now. The whole Jerry ordeal was last week, and here you are today with your bullshit letter, but hey, like I said, you clearly are ignorant of the facts. So setting them straight for you is what I am doing, take it or leave it. You’re right again, I did call Jerry, your dad, a disgrace and an embarrassment. For Jerry to call me, “Retarded,” and “Retardo,”  and his own wife is a para professional educator, one who works with Special Needs kids, makes him a disgrace and an embarrassment. Why did he delete the post where he called me “Retardo?” Glad I got it on a screen shot prior to him deleting it. Him calling me a bitch more than once, shows how classless he is, and how disrespectful he is. That’s no surprise, especially seeing how he is on that FUBAR website, with a pornographic pic as one of his first pics on it. I’d post the screen shot, but that pornographic pic kinda bars me from doing so. The irony in your message is astounding. You write how it amuses you when you see grown adults “utilizing” (whoa, big word there) Facebook the same way high school kids do, then you write me this message, venting about how you hate me and what you think of me, ad-nauseam. You bet your sweet life I’m posting this as well. You’re the one who has a baby and one on the way, don’t you think you have better things to do with your time, then tell ME how do deal with my time and life?

Um, I KNOW people don’t have to be related to look alike. I wondered if you knew, since you’re the one that made the comment about how your dad and your uncle can look alike when they aren’t even related. “Seif?” what does a sand dune formation have to do with this? I’m not sure what you were trying to say here, did you fall asleep? As far as me knowing what your dad looks like now or back in the 70’s, I can just go by the pics he posted. It seems he was really proud of his hair from the 70’s, LOL what year did he say? Around 1978? To ME, and I repeat, TO ME, your dad in the ’70’s resembled your uncle from the pics I have. I think it’s the mustache. That’s fine that you don’t see a resemblance, but I do. The blurry pic I used of your dad is the from the one he posted that he has since removed from his pictures on FB. Don’t knock me for something I got from your dad’s public FB, LOL… It’s amusing to me how upset you are that I find your dad and your uncle resemble each other. Do you really not like your uncle? What’s REALLY your underlying issue, because it seems your just a tad touchy about this, being so over dramatic about a picture and MY opinion, relax woman, I’m sure all this anger is not good for your state of being, “hormonal” that is, right? Yeah, it was night, I was relaxing and decided to compare pics, no big deal to me, wonder why it’s such a huge deal to you. You’re right again, I don’t know your dad, that’s fine by me. I know he likes to cook, eat, drink beer and ride harleys…not much has changed, right? Old Timer? LMAO…should I take offense to that? Your dad is older than me, so is your uncle for that matter. Old timer, huh? Well, that just means I know more and have more experience in this thing called life than you do, sweetheart. 😉 You could learn something from me, even hating me, you can learn something.

Hashtags? now you’re going off about hashtags? LMAO…Hmmm, not sure how to answer that….maybe go here and see if they have your answer. https://www.socialbakers.com/blog/1826-everything-you-need-to-know-about-hashtags-on-Facebook  I know some of your cousins use hashtags on Facebook, so I’m not sure what your issue is. Sounds personal though. Good luck finding the answer to that question. I do know that hashtags don’t work when you break the chain of words like you did. #learnhowtousehashtags #Learnsomethingyourselfdipshit, yes, maybe you should learn something, like when to use “Seif” and how to do #hashtags.

OK, so now about my daughter. My beautiful daughter. I never said your dad brought her up in his comments on his post. Did you not comprehend correctly? I KNOW I brought her up…HELLO? #Pleaseengagebrainbeforethinking. Your dad said I wasn’t part of the family, which I already knew, LOL…I just simply said that my daughter is. You write like I wasn’t part of his bullshit post to me, like I didn’t read or comprehend what he was writing or what I was writing, surely you jest, right? Are you pregnant? Is that why you’re hormonal? You sure are ANGRY for no reason, and over something that has nothing to do with you. Um, I hadn’t contact any of you for YEARS. My business is with your uncle only. Your dad, once again, came after me because of something I posted on his pic, 6 years ago. He KNEW that my comment was old, yet he chose to respond anyway, instead of leaving it alone. That’s NOT my problem. What did he do, get into a fight with your mom or something? Why do you take such issue with whom I speak to in the Rozario family? I sent your mom a picture of my daughter several times, when my daughter was little, only to have the letters returned. Sending a request to my daughter’s sister was done HOW long ago? A Bazillion years ago.

Yes, I am friends with your cousin in Hawaii. She actually did send a friend request to me, after I wrote her about something. She’s so not like you, She and her sisters and brothers and Mother and no doubt her dad are amazing people, my favorites out of the whole bunch. They are G-E-N-U-I-N-E, Genuine people. They don’t judge or hold grudges or anything like that. The world needs MORE people like them, but go ahead and talk about me to your cousins in Hawaii…if they have any questions, they can ask me, but I have a feeling they won’t care what you have to say about what you THINK you know because they are off doing awesome things, making the world a better place. Why do you care who I’m friend with on FB? It has nothing to do with you, it isn’t you, or anyone in your family, (meaning your husband, baby, your dad, mom and sisters) so what does it have to do with you? Why do you care? LOL Jealous? Otherwise, it makes no sense and it’s quite juvenile of you to think you have anything to do with it. You can’t control people and what they do. You can only control yourself. Are you your dad’s spokesperson? can he not speak for himself? Seems he did quite well last week. You are the only one that’s acting strange, and borderline psycho, who sends off messages to people they don’t know much less HATE? LOL…I’m just responding, publicly, because you decided to do a drive-by message and block me.

TO BE CONTINUED…..

Like Father Like Daughter Part Deux

yep, the message from the Cousin of my daughter’s is a mini book…LOL…MAN, HORMONAL is RIGHT! Jamie 6-redact-7-5-17

Bless your heart, telling me what I should and shouldn’t do…well, I’ve never taken orders from someone younger than me, not even hormonal one’s. By the way, what do you mean when you write, “Accept you…” Accept me what? What am I supposed to accept? I’m confused. You know, it’s funny you say that if anyone had a reason to contact your family (aka sending friend requests to your family) if should be my daughter as she would have a reason to, not me. Kind of like YOU now, right? I mean, if anyone had a reason to contact me, it would be your Uncle, as he would have a reason to, our daughter, not YOU…see how that works? You’re TRYING to jam me for something you yourself are doing. YOU have no reason to message me. My “beef” (that HE started) was with your dad, NOT you. My communication should be with your UNCLE, NOT  you, yet, HERE you are! Running your mouth like you’re some mob boss giving me orders, because of a response you didn’t like on or around June 29th. YOU ARE HILARIOUS! It took you this long to respond…why? You couldn’t just let it go? you HAD to respond? LOL…#thosehormonesareraging Do you REALLY think I care that your family is “repulsed” by me? You have me confused with someone who gives a damn… How and in what ways have you all tried to get rid of me? Like you all, I’ve just ignored the mass of you people, but here YOU are, nearly 24 years later, trying to talk your shit. WRONG ONE, girlie. You clearly are delusional. I’m not sure where or from whom you are getting your information from, but there’s no “injecting” myself into your family, never has been. I’m an embarrassment to myself? Are you even reading and paying attention to the words that you’re writing? For being so “Irrelevant,” you sure have devoted a lot of your time to me 😉 Thank you! SO SWEET of you. LMAO… Well, at one time, your aunt in the OC, your deceased grandma were always very cordial. They are the only two that came to my daughter’s 1st birthday. No one else, including your uncle could be bothered. Your grandmother always enjoyed seeing my daughter, her granddaughter, when I took her to see her dad, or I took her to your grandmother’s house. If they didn’t like me, that’s cool, they were respectful and cordial and knew how to be DECENT HUMAN BEINGS. Your older female cousin in Hawaii once told me to tell my daughter they (in Hawaii) loved her and hoped to meet her one day. SHE and her family are GENUINE. To bad you can’t accept that truth.

Jamie 7-redact-7-5-17

OH, FYI, yes, people in the family denied the fact that my daughter is your uncles daughter. In 1994, our uncle called me up and denied paternity. Then your deceased aunt  (RIP) from Hawaii called me up and told me SHE told your Uncle to deny paternity. At the same time, she told me how educated she was that she speaks English, and when she goes to Hong Kong, she can speak Chinese, and when she goes to Macau, she can speak Portuguese. I’m not sure what that had to do with anything, but it’s what she said.  SO, you can keep on believing that lie all your want, keep talking about shit you know nothing about. Your Hawaiian Uncle has always been low key respectful towards me, and welcoming. He appreciated the pictures I sent him of his niece, my daughter. What is so sad is one, how brainwashed you are in regards to my daughter, and two, that your family’s hatred towards me clouded your judgment  and denied yourselves the opportunity of having a relationship with my daughter. Also, why wasn’t your uncle MAN ENOUGH to visit his daughter? To visit with her, take her to see his side of the family…because he couldn’t be and wasn’t ever MAN ENOUGH to do so, he had plenty of opportunities through the years, and never acted upon it, but…what does that have to do with you again? It seems you’re still pissed over something you know nothing about and have no control over. That amazes me. Um, what have my actions been throughout the years that gave you the idea I had a personal need for you to acknowledge my daughter? You’re confusing. First you say you didn’t see her because you’d have to deal with me, then you say something about my actions that only you seem to know about. I never dealt with you all through the years, just your Uncle, and my dealings with your Uncle had no affect/effect/bearing on your family at all. My irresponsible actions? AND….what were they, Carnac?

Jamie 8-redact-7-5-17

HILARIOUS! YOU are going to tell me about the status of your Uncles marriage at the time? How old were you at the time? So you KNOW that your Uncle told me he was separated and in the process of getting a divorce, right? You know your Uncle even lived with me for awhile, while I was living in Whittier, right? You know I  moved in with your Uncle after I had our daughter in August 1993, right?  Did you know that Kathy called me at one time, thanking me for coming into his life so that now (back then) he would hopefully leave HER alone? Did you know that another time I spoke to Kathy, she told me that the only reason she allowed your male cousin to come over to his dad’s house was because I was there, she knew I would watch and take care of him and that she wanted him to hopefully have a relationship with my daughter? She wanted her daughter too as well, but she said her daughter was very upset with your uncle. I left your uncle in March of 1994. His poor son. According to Kathy, his son was put in a horrible position. He knew your uncle was cheating on me, and he didn’t like coming over because he liked me and didn’t want to face me because of what he knew. What a horrible thing to do. Then that SCATHING letter Kathy wrote about your Uncle in Nov. 1994 that was used as evidence when I sued him for custody of my daughter. I mean, it was SCATHING…You know that letter I sent you via messenger. What about the other notice I sent you, the one where I was subpoenaed to appear at  Court for Kathy…That was Dec. 1994. Then you blocked me,  and that really made me laugh, because you can sure dish it out, but you can’t take it…. so you missed out on the copy of the Stipulation and Order on OSC that was filed in Jan. 1995 where your uncle agreed that visitation between him and his older two kids shall be at the discretion of each of the kids, yet your uncle and family blamed me for him losing visitation with his kids. Um NO, that’s not my fault. There was clear and convincing evidence that Kathy alone had on your uncle. In reality, he actually didn’t lose visitation, it was amended. It was amended so that his kids could decide when they wanted to see him. That’s all on your uncle because of his actions. His threat of kidnapping my daughter along with his actions towards his older kids and his ex is the reason I got sole legal sole physical custody of my daughter. Plus, your uncle defaulted, so that helped, but again….ALL his actions.  Don’t blame me for your uncles actions. I feel no remorse as I didn’t do anything to be remorseful. Your uncle’s actions showed me he was separated and getting a divorce. Who are YOU to tell me differently? You claim to know my medical diagnosis, huh? So you know that I was getting prepped for surgery to find out why I was having irregular menstrual cycles, and why my hormones were pretty much flat-lined, why, if I even wanted to get pregnant, I couldn’t. So you know that it was when they did a pregnancy test on me, as they were prepping me for surgery, that it showed I was pregnant, and NO ONE was more shocked than me. I went from being told I couldn’t get pregnant, and damn near having an abortion, to being pregnant. I bet that’s what you would have rather preferred, including your uncle, for me to get rid of my daughter that way. It makes sense now, you’re angry she exists at all….talk about someone having a “rancid soul” to use your words…does that even make sense? Can people have “rancid souls”? Is that really the word you want? You seem so certain, so I guess you would know…

Jamie 9-redact-7-5-17

Jamie, do you seriously think I care why your family despises me? I don’t. You sound like a fool in this long ass message. How old were you in 1993 when I met you? I didn’t contribute to the end of a family. Did you not read the letter I sent you? Your uncle had issues LONG before I was around. HE is the one that broke his marriage/family up irretrievably, not me. Nope, I feel no remorse for what your Uncle did to his family. I doubt my daughter wants anything to do with YOU or your mom and dad, but she may want something to do with her Hawaiian family. Who could blame her. Hawaiian family is GENUINE, decent, non judgmental people, whereas, your family is quite opposite. I think your middle sister might be the exception, because at least SHE made an attempt to talk with my daughter back in 2010 when she met her, but lets get one thing straight. My daughter has had no communication with her paternal side of the family because her FATHER ignored her for 24 years. He couldn’t be bothered with her. The same with the rest of your family, (Hawaii family is ALWAYS the exception) who has ignored her for 24 years minus 3 days (8-1-94, 2-28-10, 12-18-10) those 3 days are 3 days more than her own FATHER has seen her, since she was 10 months old in June of 1994. It was because of my communication that those 3 days even happened, my communication with your Aunt and Grandma in 1994,  and actually mine and my daughters communication with your cousin J and Aunt D in 2010. That was it. So no, I haven’t continuously “injected” myself into your family. Last I knew, Communication goes both ways, if you’re so interested in my daughter, why haven’t you contacted her? Don’t use that excuse you didn’t have any information…it can be got if you really were interested, as you try to pretend you might be after reading this message of your’s.

Jamie 10-redact-7-5-17

NOW you caught on, she is an adult, you don’t have to go through me to get to her, but I’m not sure she wants you to contact her, especially after I read this to her. You’re being totally disrespectful to her mother, why would she want anything to do with YOU? You act like you’ve had to deal with me for 24 years…don’t you wish! No, you need to check YOURSELF. I’m going no where. I’m my daughters MOTHER, I’ve been here for her for 24 years so far, where the hell has your mom, uncle and aunts been? ::GHOSTS::

Nice chatting with ya. Sleep well, seems you sat there and wasted your time chastising me for something you yourself do, you’re a RIOT!!! GOD, I Love to LAUGH and you gave me PLENTY to laugh at….now, go take care of that baby you have, eat some crackers and drink some 7-up or something, you sure are hormonal….and STOP CALLING ME, LOL…The image I get of you calling me make me laugh! I see you standing, punching keys to block your number, then calling me, not leaving a message or hanging up when I answer. GROW THE HELL UP…;-)

Believe It Or Not….No, This Isn’t Ripley’s…

It started, actually, Dec. 6, 2010. It was a Facebook post that my daughter’s paternal Uncle Jerry, posted a picture of himself. Sometime between that date and August 26, 2011, when I responded to the post, Jerry and I had been Facebook friends. I am assuming he didn’t realize or remember who I was exactly. So, having seen this picture he posted, on August 26, 2011, at 12:56 am, I wrote, “Jerry, you look like Anthony in this picture….” and that was it. (Anthony is my daughter’s sperm donor.) That had BEEN it, until June 29, 2017 at 8:18 pm , YES, 6 years later, when he wrote, “This is like 1978.” 6 years later, and seemingly innocent enough, right? I thought so too.

I thought so until someone either asked or just made a comment that I still can’t believe. Someone, named Robert Jamie asked “Why would he look like Anthony, they aren’t related” and prefaced this question/comment with an emoji that looked like similar to this :-/ only the mouth part was straight across.  Clearly this person, who is either Jerry’s daughter Jamie or son in law Robert, seemed to be confused how someone can look like someone else, even though they aren’t related. Apparently this person has never heard or doesn’t know of the word, DOPPELGANGER. Makes me wonder if they’ve ever heard of a book called DICTIONARY. Also, I am not sure it was at that moment that Jerry realized who I was, or if it was a set up, or what exactly made him flip his switch, but suddenly, Jerry becomes unhinged, even hysterical and writes that “That Fuckin Patty is Retarded and doesn’t belong commenting on any of our family’s posts.”2 things about this. Number 1, Seriously? my original post was from 6 years ago, and it’s just being answered this many years later, and NOW it’s a problem? As Facebook friends back then, was I not allowed to comment on “family posts”? Who knew!? Number 2, Jerry’s wife works as a Para-Professional Educator in her local school district, and he has the audacity to throw the word “Retarded” around like it’s nothing, ON social media? How disrespectful and disgraceful to his wife and her position, but his attitude is really no surprise….read on….

So, after Jerry’s comment about how I “didn’t belong commenting on any of their family post’s” this Robert Jamie person says, “Jerry (last name) I agree 100% -J” Now THAT right there, makes me think the person is Jerry’s daughter Jamie, who is writing, one because I’ve never met Robert, and two, the “-J”. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. Of course, I reacted, and called Jerry a dumb-ass, reminding him that my comment was from 6 years ago, when he friend requested me. I told him to relax and get a grip. Should I have called him a dumb-ass? Probably not, but that level of stupidity, both in the years it took to respond, to his pissy-ness about it, to that asinine question about not looking like each other…it was just too much, LOL.

The next pic shows that Jerry realized my comment was “old,” so why now? it still makes no sense. In fact, when I got a notification on Facebook that Jerry so and so commented on my post, I wasn’t sure who that was. I thought surely not the same guy I knew because I hadn’t spoken to him for years and we hadn’t been Facebook friends for years either. I clicked on the notification and sure enough, it was the VERY same guy. Apparently he forgot he friend requested. SO MUCH ANGER towards someone he has no contact with. In fact, prior to 2010, I hadn’t spoke to him since 1994 when I left my daughter’s father, and prior to that, it was infrequent when my ex and I lived together when I was pregnant in 1992 and after I had my daughter in Aug. 1993. To quote Don Henley’s song, Heart of the Matter, “You keep carrying that Anger, it’ll eat you up inside, Baby…” Jerry seems to be more angry about something that didn’t even concern him, or have anything to do with him…my relationship with my ex. SO now Jerry wants me to go find my own family, calls me a “BITCH,”  tells me I’m not part of his family, never have been, never will be, and tells me to stop posting about them.  I’m just not following him. I don’t post about his family, thought I certainly could. I can and HAVE posted about my ex, but how does that affect Jerry? Then he tells me I was a sad and stupid mistake, that I need to get my “onw” fucking sorry life and keep it to yourself. What does that MEAN? LOL…It’s funny how, when people are THIS unhinged and pissed off, they write the craziest shit, shit that makes NO sense. It kinda makes me laugh, actually. My late husbands ex wife used to do that as well. That’s ANOTHER story….on with this one. 

So in my response, I reminded him that he did friend request me, but that was ok. I understand about old age setting in, I have my moments as well. I told him I did have my family and that my daughter is part of Anthony’s family and that the R’s/M’s (first initials of last names for my ex and Jerry) denying it doesn’t make it so. I told Jerry nice try though. I also told him that I didn’t have to stop posting about him, but thanks for the fodder. How does one stop doing something they aren’t doing? I told him in case he hadn’t noticed, I hadn’t posted to him SINCE 2011, when I suddenly started getting notifications that people were posting on the pic. THAT was not my problem. I told him to stop responding to me if it’s such a bother, that it was really that simple. It ALWAYS makes me laugh how an adult tells another adult to stop writing them, yet continues to respond….

Jerry  must have been drunk or SOMETHING because his response was  say that’s ok, calling me Bitch again, to “keep dreaming. Fantasy Land LA LA LAND” WHAT the hell does that even mean? How OLD is this guy? I HOPE he didn’t think I dreamed about him, gross and said just that! I also told him that last time I spoke to my daughter’s father was in Dec 2016. He didn’t like my response too well, because he then said that wasn’t what he said and now I’m a “Retardo” according to Jerry. I had to laugh at how he told me to stop writing, yet he continues to write me. I told him that he just couldn’t help himself, to look at himself continuing to call names, and wow, how immature, NOT. I asked that if he hated me so much, why is he wasting his time responding to me? he can’t help himself? I was amazed at the power I seem to possess, LOL

 

Not sure why, but he deleted his previous comment. In my last comment to him, I wrote that actually, Anthony was the sad stupid mistake. It was then that I saw he deleted his RETARDO comment and apparently had blocked me. GOOD.

Truth is, while Anthony was the sad, stupid mistake in my life, I did get a precious gift of my daughter and for HER, I thank him. Anthony was and forever will be a piss poor “Father” who has 3 kids, none of which have anything to do with him. 2 of them by choice, the last one, my daughter, because ANTHONY has wanted it that way. In nearly 24 years, I can count on one hand how many times he acknowledge her. 7 months old, 10 months old, 2008 in court papers where he said he needed his license reinstated so he can “visit with his child” (whom he hadn’t seen for 15 years already) and then on December 17, 2016, when he sent me a text that said, “Patty you tell my daughter to contact me anytime I don’t need to speak to you to see her. Patty in the past you never let me see Sarah so i will talk to her but I have nothing to say to you I rest my case.” WHOA….such commanding words from an otherwise deadbeat father.

What started all this with Jerry from the beginning? From 6 years ago? When I told him he reminded me of Anthony, his brother in law, in the 1978 picture? I can see a resemblance,just in the face, maybe it’s the mustache, I don’t know, but it was MY opinion that they resembled each other. WHAT set Jerry off, after all this time, especially since he KNEW it was an old comment? Is it because he REALLY did not like the fact that I compared him, in ANY way, to Anthony? Does Jerry have his OWN issues with Anthony that he doesn’t or hasn’t dealt with? I have no idea, only THEY know. I hope they get it resolved.

At one time, I loved Anthony. We got along great, he was funny, he was handsome, he was sweet and caring. He is STILL, after all these years, still loved by my sister and welcomed at her house. As for me, he’s the biological father of my daughter and that’s it. We are not friends, because HE want’s it that way. His demons changed him. His demons got the best of him. He went off in a totally different direction. His ex wife was not going to put up with them, again, she did that when they were first married, and she eventually cut off visitations due to what their son was telling her about them, things I didn’t know until later. I got blamed for his ex-wife “keeping the kids away from” him. His demons were not my fault. They were his. His demons got him fired from two really good jobs, one, ironically, was in the same district his sister works in. His ex wife and myself were not going to put up with his demons. That’s life, that’s what WE chose. That’s the life he chose. He CHOSE to find someone who would support him in the lifestyle he wanted. I’m glad I got away before my daughter was taken from me  because of HIS actions. I’m glad his ex wife did what she needed to do to protect her kids. It’s what us Mama Bears/Mama Wolves do to protect our babies.

SAY HER NAME….

It’s really been a nutty kind of last few days. I will start off with posting this, then I will write another blog, with the back story.

THIS and THERE…. getting thoughts together, sharpening poison pen (a Family member told me I had one) Mama Wolf has been awakened, it’s been awhile. Got a lot to say, got some things to get off my chest… some things just can’t be BREATHED or WOOSAH’d away, until I deal with it, until the next time… so don’t tell me to drop it, let it go or whatever else, especially if you’ve never been in my situation or have had to deal with the SHIT I have. If you know me, you KNOW me. I am always nice, friendly and cordial, until I’m provoked, and it takes awhile to get there. Some things just don’t get a pass though…..”you’ve” been warned and it won’t be here on FB… yet

Follow the Paper Trail….

On Jan. 2, 2017, I wrote: “Dec 17th, ex must have mulled over our non confrontational conversation, and couldn’t handle it, so he shoots me off a text at 930am telling me, “Patty you tell my daughter to contact me anytime I don’t need to speak to you to see her. Patty in the past you never let me see Sarah so I will speak to her but I have nothing to say to you I rest my case.” He rests his case? I had to laugh because this is the most he’s spoken, even during all the times we had gone back and forth to court, “but he “rests his case…” OK

“Our” daughter was born in 1993 and she turned 18 in 2011.

Let me put this out there, here and now. I cannot EVER make another adult person do something they do not want to do.

When I decided to leave my ex significant other, I will call him Anthony, it was the weekend of my birthday, March, 1994. “Our” daughter was 7 months old. We had been living together for nearly a year. I had discovered  and confirmed that he was cheating on me and had even moved some of his new girlfriend’s clothes into my side of the closet, but towards the back of the closet. I have to assume he thought I wouldn’t see them. SURPRISE!

I wasn’t planning on suing him for custody of our daughter, I thought we could co parent together, however, I was beginning to think that wasn’t going to happen. From the time I left in early March, until early June, Anthony had not seen our daughter. He then requested to see her on June 2nd, 1994, when she was 10 months old, so we met at a park near to where I was living in Whittier. He played with her on the swing, the slide, sweet daddy/daughter time. At the end of the visit, he became irritated, and told me that if I didn’t watch it, he would kidnap his daughter and take her to Mexico and I wouldn’t get her back. He hadn’t seen her or made any attempt to see her, for 3 months, then he threatened to kidnap her? I knew what I had to do.

Aug. 1, 1994, our daughter turned 1. Her paternal grandmother and Aunt showed up. Apparently, Anthony had no interest. 

Sept. 1994, I filed a Complaint to Establish Parental Relationship with the court. I requested sole legal/sole physical custody of our daughter. I requested that a 3rd party be present for any visitation. I requested that defendant be ordered to take a random drug/blood test before any visitation can be ascertained due to his serious/abusive drug addiction. Any visits to be monitored and supervised at all times. I did want him to establish a relationship with his daughter and let the court know that he had not seen his daughter for a long period of time. I requested that the father’s visits with our daughter are to exclude his girlfriend due to her own personal “issues” shall we say. (Birds of a feather…) I requested that his girlfriend not be involved in any visitation nor intercept any communication regarding our daughter and her father. Anthony had 30 days to respond. What a LONG process this was. Anthony never responded to the court papers.  What he did do though, was allow his girlfriend to intercept and respond to my daughter’s Medical providers. She did this in August 1994 and Nov. 1994. In August, the girlfriend wrote, “To Whom It May Concern: You can give this bill to the kids mother. Since she does not know who the father is.” Girlfriend singed her name and Anthony’s name. The medical provider sent me a copy of the letter, asking me to please respond to this note from Anthony. In Nov. 1994, the girlfriend, yet again, intercepted medical correspondence to Anthony. In this correspondence, the medical provider wrote that I stated our daughter was covered under her father’s insurance. The girlfriend wrote, “NO SHE’S NOT. Let her so called mother support her. We pay taxes.” WHAT? Of course, the medical provider sent me a copy of that as well.

June 2, 1995 a Request to Enter Default was filed.

July 31, 1995, a Notice of Entry Judgement/Judgement for Paternity was filed. There was a hearing for Default Judgement Declaring Existence of Father Child Relationship, and Ordering Custody, Visitation, Child Support.  Anthony was served with the complaint and failed to answer or respond to it, and his default was duly entered. With the evidence I had, it was “therefore ordered, adjudged, and decreed” that I have the judgement as follows:

  1. I am the mother of Anthony’s child, born Aug. 1, 1993.
  2. I have sole legal  and physical custody of child.
  3. Defendant/Father to have no rights of visitation.
  4. Defendant/Father to pay one half of uncovered medical costs incurred for the benefit of the minor child including medical, dental, orthodontic, psychological or psychiatric.
  5. wage garnishment shall be issued against defendants wages.

I had sent Anthony a copy of this court order. on Aug. 3, 1995, I received a letter from his girlfriend. It included 2 pics of them getting married, with a note that said, “You are such a fool.”

December 1995, Anthony is court ordered to carry Heath/Dental insurance on our daughter. He never responded, nor did he ask to ever see his daughter.

Over the next few years, letters to Anthony consisted of getting him to follow court orders, pay his “fair share” of medical costs, adding our daughter onto his health insurance as he was court ordered, and I never heard from him.

I married in May of 1996 and my husband was the only “Daddy” my daughter had known. My husband was now covering my daughter under his medical/dental insurance.

In May of  1998, I sent him a letter letting Anthony know that our daughter will be covered under his insurance plan effective June 1, 1998. I also told him that while it wasn’t ideal, it was understood that the least amount he has to deal with me, the easier it is for HIM. Kids have enough peer pressure and we don’t need to add to it or compound it because we can’t get along. Our daughter is almost 5 at this time, and he STILL has not asked to see her, or anything. I told him that although he has no desire to meet her, I didn’t believe he wanted her hurt or for anything bad to happen to her. *CRICKETS* I am the one that had to continually look out for my daughter, making sure she was covered Anthony’s insurance policies. He FINALLY sent me some insurance information.

1999 I continuously write him and tell him what is going on with our daughter. She was turning 6, going to school, playing some sports. I would tell him what’s going on with her, and what she’s doing. *Crickets*

In Sept 1999 HE sent me new insurance cards…WHAT!? However, still no request to see her.

Year 2000, Still sending Anthony pics, copies, of report cards, behavior charts from school, updates of what our daughter is doing, her plans, wants, etc…and still, *crickets* from him. In Dec. I wrote that I hope he enjoys seeing everything I send him and seeing how much she is growing and changing. *Crickets* On Dec 30, 2000 I also sent a short note and picture of my daughter to her Aunt. This aunt would be the youngest girl on Anthony’s side. This letter was REFUSED and RETURN TO SENDER.

Year 2001, Jan. 19 I sent Anthony a letter, updating him as usual, and I also let him know about what his sister had done. I told him that just because no one wants to BELIEVE that our daughter is his, doesn’t make it so. I told him that it was funny because his sister had opened up the letter, saw who it was from and who it was, then she closed it up and sent it back to me. I told him that our daughter will eventually be told about her parentage, all her aunts  and brother and sister, at an appropriate time, and it will be HER decision when she is older as to whether or not she wants contact with any of them. I told him that our daughter was innocent in all this and I really hope that if the day comes when she writes him a letter or something that at least he will be decent enough to acknowledge her and be open to what she has to say and answer any questions she may have. In May  I wrote Anthony and told him what I had been thinking lately. It was that I won’t contact him about her, that it was obvious he has no desire to contact, see or know about her. It’s something that I had known for 7 years, but I had dumb hope. I told him that he has his wife and her kids to keep him busy and my husband has been a WONDERFUL daddy to our daughter, and for now, that’s all our daughter needs to know. I felt that Anthony, his wife, her kids and his sisters are rejoicing, and it’s sad, but it’s his decision to stay away, and my decision and right as her other to protect her, her feelings and emotional well being. Nov. 21, I sent him a pic of her.

On May 21, 2002 I sent Anthony a letter requesting his written approval and authorization for me to change our daughters last name, legally, to my husband’s last name. Nothing.

There was no communication in 2003 about anything except past due medical expenses that he continually refuses to pay, and as always, no response from Anthony, about ANYTHING, not even to see if he can see his daughter.

On Jan. 4, 2005, Anthony sends me a signed paper, 3.5 years later, authorizing me to change my daughters last name to my husbands. He also wrote a not that he wants me to call him. He gave me a disconnected number. I sent him letter dated Jan. 12, stating this problem. I also told him that changing my daughters last name does not get him out of paying child support, as it was just a name change and not an adoption. Anthony called me on Jan. 24th, and gave me his home number, “in the event (daughter) wants to contact” him. During our conversation, we agreed to the following, that visitation with our daughter would happen if our daughter requested to see him. By this year, our daughter knew about him, and had known about him for several years. Anthony and I agreed that if our daughter wanted to see hi, I would call him and he would come over to my house, and that if he wanted to see our daughter, he would call me and come over to my house.  I told him that it has been 12 years, so there would be no visitation without myself or a 3rd party present, to start. Anthony had admitted that the he hated the supervised visitation and that that was ONE of the reasons he has never made contact with our daughter. Our daughter was going to be 12 and it had been 12 years since he had seen her, but I wasn’t just going to allow non supervised visitation to take place. I also knew that since I still wanted it supervised, visitations wouldn’t take place any time soon, unless he pursued it through the courts. Anthony also told me he was getting a divorce.

It was during this year, that I came to find out Anthony tried to claim our daughter on his taxes…WOW…I corrected that quick fast and in a hurry.

Anthony never requested to see his daughter. My daughter never requested to see him.

My husband, the only daddy my daughter ever knew, died suddenly and unexpectedly in Nov 2005.

I let Anthony know about my husband dying in Jan 2006. I thought it might strike something in him, about our daughter. In March 2006 I wrote Anthony and told him that when I told him about my husband passing away, I was kinda sorta hoping he would step up to the plate, that he would take more of an interest in our daughters life and possibly want to be in contact with her. I told him that I thought it would do both of them good to be in each other’s lives, especially right now, he is her biological father and she is going to need a father figure in her life. I told him that my daughter asked WHY now would he want to step up, when he hasn’t done so for the past 12 years. She had a valid concern. I told him that I would hate to think that for these last 5.5 years, until she’s 18, that he didn’t make an effort. I told him that while the court papers said he had no rights of visitation, I have always been willing to work something out with him, and that my only request was that visitation did not include his current wife/girlfriend, just him and our daughter so they can get to know each other. it was my hope that soon, he would be involved in his daughters life, that she could really benefit from it, and I think he would too. ALL the heartfelt words, went to  deaf ears and blind eyes. Come May 2006, Anthony was fired from his job, again, which means he was no longer carrying Medical/Dental insurance on her.  He also never made an effort to see her.

2008 I find out that Anthony is on GR (general relief). I have no idea how he got it, but I knew he better not use/claim my daughter to get it. He also decided he was going to take me back to court. He can’t pay his child support, but he can find money to go fishing and then get busted, receiving a citation for fishing without a license. In the court papers Anthony filed, he stated there was a change in circumstances, that he’s currently receiving GR at $203 per month, that he needs his CDL to be released so that he can “seek employment, visit my child and for personal errands.” I have told Anthony MANY times over the last 15 years that he can visit our daughter and he never took me up on it. His older sister, at one time, told him to deny paternity, and wanted ME to pay for a test. I said no, I KNEW who her father was, that if he had a question about it, he could pay for a test. Now that he mentioned wanting to see her in these court papers, legally he has no right of visitation, (since 1995) and if he was SERIOUS about seeing her, he should have also modified child visitation. He didn’t, so was he trying to make me look bad in these court papers he served me with? he’s never visited. He’s never called, never written her, never acknowledged her birthday’s, holidays, nothing, ever, in 15 years. He was told by the Child Support attorney, that if he didn’t make an effort now, he will never have a relationship with her, that she was old enough to make her own decision about seeing him. Guess what? We had to go back to court on June 12, he was not there, but my daughter was, just to see him.

2010 is the year that my daughter got to meet three aunts, several uncles, and cousins in person. One couldn’t be bothered with her (The one that returned a letter to me years ago) several cousins. She hasn’t seen them since.

I wrote Anthony again on July 24,2011. 8 days before my daughter turned 18, telling him it was really too bad and SO sad that he missed out on 18 years of her life.

I have NEVER denied him seeing our daughter, despite what court orders said. I would tell him, “I KNOW what court orders say, BUT ….” and would offer a way for him to see her. He never once took me up on it, then he has the audacity to accuse me of keeping her from him….

SURELY he jests…..

Baby Shoes

 

 

Fine Then…

Well, I didn’t plan on changing my THEME, but I accidentally clicked “Activate” instead of “Preview” and now I can’t even remember what I had before, LOL…I didn’t like what I “chose” so I had to search for another theme. I’ve had this one before and liked it, so here I am again with it. I guess this is what happens before I have coffee. 😉

ANY-HOO, I hope everyone is well! I’ve been busy with work and school, both are ALMOST done for the summer, and it’s always bittersweet for me. Summer is good for the peace of mind but definitely not the paycheck! I have no plans for summer, except to work at my second job (Respite Care), and possibly get another job. My kids are grown, young adults, both working, so I don’t see them as much, but it’s all good.

I am more of a Spring/Winter person, and don’t particularly care for the Summer heat, but it’s a necessary evil I have to deal with 😉

What plans do you have this summer?

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P~